


please picture me in the weeds

by AsianTomato



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Childhood Friends, F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pining, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Songfic, adora just really loves her best friend okay?, baby adora crushing on catra, well her ex-best friend i should say
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27537220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsianTomato/pseuds/AsianTomato
Summary: Adora hasn't seen Catra since she was 7 years old. She can't quite recall what Catra looks like, only that she had the fluffiest ears/tail and the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen; one being blue and the other golden. All she remembers are the feelings of happiness, warmth, and home.Now Adora's 17 and she still can't seem to get her out of her head. She misses her best friend, but what can she really do?  Well actually she can write a song about it, can't she?
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 128





	1. i hit my peak at seven

_Please picture me_

_In the trees_

_I hit my peak at seven feet_

_In the swing_

_Over the creek_

_I was too scared to jump in_

_But I, I was high in the sky_

_With Pennsylvania under me_

_Are there still beautiful things?_

_“Catra, I can’t!” Adora shrieks with laughter, clutching onto the rope holding her and her swing up._

_“What? You too_ scared _to jump in?” Catra raises an eyebrow and smirks up at her from the lake._

_Adora continues to laugh as she swings as high as she can. Later, she’ll swear she was like seven feet in the air._

_Both kids had begged Ms. Weaver (they also call her Shadow Weaver because of how she always knows when they’re being bad and appears out of nowhere to punish them) to let them splash around in the creek by their foster home since they were done with their chores. I mean, they’re both big girls now, Adora being 7 and Catra 6. They can totally take care of themselves._

_Near that small creek is one of their favorite places to go to be alone; Lake Hordak. They had stumbled upon it a few months ago when Catra had been chasing Adora through the trees. All of a sudden they were in this clearing with a gigantic lake and it even had a rustic-looking swing hanging over it._

_So here they are without a care in the world._

_Relaxing in the swing, Adora can’t help but notice how beautiful the world is around her. Everything is quiet except for the occasional splash from Catra and her own giggles. Right here, right now the only thing that matters is her best friend in the entire world. She could spend the rest of her life with just Catra and she would die happy._

_“So? Are you coming or are you too chicken?” Catra yells, pulling Adora out of her thoughts._

_Doing her best to sound angry (and clearly failing), Adora shouts back, “Am not!”_

_“Are too!”_

_“Am_ not _!” Deciding to end this argument, Adora squeezes her eyes shut and releases her grip on the swing._

_In those few seconds of free-falling, she feels happy. She can hear Catra’s delighted laughter and feel her weight being pulled down by gravity and smell the mossy scent of the lake and she just feels so happy. She’d always been a lively child, but ever since she met the brunette, everything feels_ different _. More vivid. More intense._

_Hitting the water and quickly swimming back to the surface, Adora looks to her right and sees Catra looking like a drowned rat from her splash. Immediately, she lunges for Adora, grabs her by the shoulders, and pulls her underwater. Spluttering and laughing as she resurfaces, her heart clenches at the sight of Catra looking so at ease._ _It’s rare for them to get moments like this where Shadow Weaver and the other kids won’t interrupt them. It’s rare for Adora to see Catra let go and be herself, so she ends up kinda just floating and staring at Catra with a goofy smile._

_She’s started to get these feelings in her chest and stomach whenever she looks at Catra and she_ knows _she looks a little dorky just gawking, but she just can’t help it! She loves her best friend! Her best friend who has the cutest little cat ears and tail. Her best friend who has the softest and prettiest hair even if it does look like a lion’s mane most of the time. Her best friend who holds her hand when she’s sad and sleeps by her feet at night._

_“What are you looking at, dummy?” Catra asks fondly, calming down from their fit of laughter. Her smile is teasing and her eyes are soft. Little did Adora know, Catra’s been having similar thoughts and emotions flitting through her mind. She just hides it better._

_A blush spreads across Adora’s cheeks and she manages to stutter, “I-I just like playing with you.”_

_Catra’s grin widens as this. Behind her, the sunset creates hues of blues, pinks, and oranges framing her so perfectly. Heart fluttering, Adora wants to stay here forever, basking in this warm feeling, but she knows they’ll be in big trouble if they don’t get going._

_“C’mon. Shadow Weaver’s gonna kill us if we get home too late,” Adora announces as she starts swimming towards the edge of the lake._

_“Aww do we have to?” Catra pouts, but follows her nonetheless._

_Refusing to look back (Catra’s pout is the one thing she can’t say no to. It’s just so_ cute _, but she would never tell her that), Adora lets out a small huff. “Hurry up you big baby. I’ll race you to the house!” And with that, Adora’s sprinting as fast as she can._

_Right behind her, she hears “cheater!” and both girls are running back home, laughing wildly along the way._

—

“Adora!”

Snapping back to reality, Adora realizes Glimmer and Bow have been trying to get her attention for the past few minutes. 

“Are you okay?” Bow asks while putting a concerned hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah I’m okay,” she says distractedly, “just a little tired.” 

10 years ago, Glimmer’s parents had come into Ms. Weaver’s foster home, looking to adopt a little girl and that is how Adora became a new addition to their family. The two young girls quickly became close and upon meeting Bow in school, their group of 2 grew into 3. 

Now, 10 years later, they’re all sitting on Adora’s bed, talking about nothing and everything, topics ranging from gossip to homework. Normally, she would be just as enthusiastic as her two best friends, but she can’t seem to turn her brain off today. Don’t get her wrong, Adora loves her sister and she loves Bow, but she can’t help but miss her childhood best friend. They used to do everything together and now… she can barely even remember her face.

“Do you want us to leave?” the purple-haired girl asks softly.

Realizing she blanked out again, Adora slowly nods. “Yeah, sorry. I think I just wanna be alone right now. We can talk later though?”

“Of course.” Bow smiles as they both get up and start walking towards the bedroom door. “You can talk to us whenever you’re ready.” He reassures her as he goes to close the door. It shuts with a click, leaving Adora alone on her bed. 

Sighing to herself, Adora runs a hand through her hair and pulls out a journal. It’s a combination of things really. Sometimes it serves as her diary where she’ll write what happened that day, other times she’ll doodle, but most pages are filled with lyrics. 

Actually, she’s been working on a song about her first best friend and how that relationship felt at the time. Staring at the page, Adora’s already got the first verse down. That’s actually what brought on the memory of the lake.

_God I miss her… I wonder what she’s up to right now. Did she get adopted after I left? What’s her family like now? I hope she’s happy. She deserves it._ Adora starts to think back to when she had been adopted by Angella and Micah.

Getting lost in the memory, she begins to write the second verse to her song.

—

_And I've been meaning to tell you_

_I think your house is haunted_

_Your dad is always mad and that must be why_

_And I think you should come live with_

_Me and we can be pirates_

_Then you won't have to cry_

_Or hide in the closet_

_And just like a folk song_

_Our love will be passed on_

_A few weeks have gone by since Adora was adopted. Angella and Micah are so amazing to her. They listen and give her hugs when she’s upset. They smile kindly when she makes mistakes instead of yelling at her like Shadow Weaver. She even had a new sister, Glimmer, who was also 7. Adora was reserved at first, but she realized that Glimmer just wanted to be friends so she started to open up a little more._

_But of course, Adora would never put anyone else above her absolute favorite person in the entire world; Catra. Micah was actually taking her to the park to see her today! They get to play together once maybe twice a week and usually Glimmer comes with Adora. She didn’t understand, but her best friend had seemed upset the first time she saw her with Glimmer. Today, though, Glimmer was spending time with Angella instead._

_When her and Micah get to the park, all she sees is a flash of brown fur before she's tackled to the ground._

_Alarmed, Micah starts towards the girls, but quickly realizing that they’re both laughing, he just shakes his head and walks towards the bench at the edge of the playground instead._

_Meanwhile, the catgirl has Adora straddled on the ground, tail swaying behind her. Giggling as she pushes her off, Adora notices that Catra’s in a good mood today. Her ears are in a neutral position and her tail isn’t flicking like it usually does when she’s irritated (which was 99% of the time)._

_The butterflies in her stomach always go crazy whenever she sees Catra. She still isn’t sure why or what it means, but she doesn’t mind it. Sometimes her heart feels like it’ll beat right out of her chest and she gets a little concerned, but other than that she kinda likes how this feels._

_She comes out of her thoughts right when Catra offhandedly asks, “No Sparkles today?” as she glances around the playground. She’s not the biggest fan of Adora’s new sister and they all know it. It probably has something to do with how she gets to be the one Adora spends all her time with instead of Catra._

_“You know her name is Glimmer,” Adora chuckles and gently smacks Catra’s shoulder. “She’s shopping with Angella right now, so you get exclusive Adora time.”_

_It’s a teasing comment, but Catra’s ears push back a little. “Woohoo, lucky me,” she deadpans, mood immediately making a 180._

_Adora’s eyebrows furrow a little, but she decides to let it go for now._

_“Oookay.” Looking around the park for the first time since she’s arrived, Adora sees an empty part of the playground. It’s a boat attached to some springs on the ground so it can rock back and forth, simulating waves. There’s a ship’s wheel on one end, a mast in the middle, and a seat that wraps around the inside of it._

_“Hey, let’s go play there.” Adora points at the ship excitedly. “We can be pirates!”_

_Suddenly feeling a lot better than a few seconds ago, Catra grabs Adora’s hand and drags her over to the toy. Scanning the ground, she finds two good sized sticks and throws one to Adora._

_“You can’t be a pirate without a sword! Arrr!”_

_Before she could even finish the sentence, Adora is already charging and swinging her sword at her. But with her cat-like reflexes, Catra swiftly dodges her attack and returns the favor. Howling with laughter, the two kids chase each other around the ship a few times before Adora hops into it._

_“Ahoy matey, I’m Captain Adora and this is my ship!” Adora announces in a stereotypical pirate accent. She grabs hold of the steering wheel and spins it a couple times._

_From outside the boat, Catra crosses her arms and pouts. “Hey! Why do_ you _get to be captain? I wanna be captain!”_

_Sticking her tongue out, Adora teases, “I got here first. Finders keepers, losers weepers.”_

_The brunette starts smirking and before Adora knows it, she’s climbing onboard and wrestling for control of the boat._

_“I guess I’ll have to steal your ship just like a real pirate!” Catra exclaims as she puts a hand over Adora’s face and pushes her to the back of the boat. At this point, the ship is swaying side-to-side, making it hard for Adora to keep balance. But somehow, she was able to stay upright by clutching onto the mast._

_There’s a moment of tension as they gauge each other for a hot second, but Adora pounces (she learned that one from Catra)._

_Eyes widening, all Catra can do is fall backwards as the older girl lands on top of her. Luckily, they manage to avoid hitting their heads and instead fall to the bottom of the ship with a thud. Both girls burst into a fit of laughter before Adora dusts herself off and gets off of Catra._

_She puts a hand out to help Catra up and that’s when she notices it. There’s a purple bruise on the inside of Catra’s forearm._

_Adora freezes, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s that?” she asks._

_Catra looks confused for a second before glancing down and realizing what she was referring to. She dismisses it with a wave and says, “Oh… it’s nothing.”_

_Not willing to let it go, Adora asks again, but this time she does so more gently. “Catra, what happened?”_

_With a huff, Catra sits cross-legged on the floor of the ship and Adora quickly follows suit. It’s quiet for a minute, save for the other kids in the park, before Catra decides she can tell her anything._

_“I accidentally dropped a plate and broke it when I was washing the dishes. I tried to hide in the closet, but Shadow Weaver found me,” she mutters as she brings her knees up to her chest and rests her chin on them._

_“...She hurt you? Are you okay?”_

_Immediately, Catra straightens up and angrily growls, “I don’t need you to be sorry for me! You have your new life with your new family and your new house and your new everything! Why do you care?” Tears are threatening to spill over and down her cheeks, but Catra still tries her best to keep up a brave façade._

_The blonde feels her heart break and instantly wraps her arms around Catra, tugging her into her chest. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re my best friend and I‘m your best friend. Everything will be okay as long as we have each other.” She can feel her shirt starting to get a little wet from Catra’s tears, but she doesn't care. All that matters right now is that Catra knows Adora will always be there for her._

_Pulling away just enough to see Adora’s face, Catra looks at her with the saddest eyes and whispers, “You promise?”_

_Smiling a bit, Adora says, “I promise.” And in her own mind, she thinks_ I promise I will always protect you. 

_The moment lasts for a few more minutes before Adora tries to lighten the mood a little._

_“Maybe we call her Shadow Weaver because she’s being haunted.”_

_“What?!” Catra looks at her incredulously as she laughs._

_Adora grins and waves her hands around as she voices her opinions. “I’m being serious! How can someone be so… so_ mean _! There_ has _to be a ghost or something making her do all of this.”_

_“You’re such an idiot.” Catra manages to gasp between her chuckles._

_All of a sudden, Adora gets the most brilliant idea ever. How could she not have thought of this sooner? It’s absolutely perfect._

_“You should come live with me!” Adora’s excitement is rolling off of her in waves._

_Catra pauses as she hears this. Living with Adora? Without Shadow Weaver? It feels like the world has stopped spinning. It’s just her and Adora, sitting in this toy boat._

_“Live with you?” Each word leaves Catra’s mouth like they’re the most delicate words she’s ever spoken._

_“Yes! We can share a room again and play pirates whenever we want! You won’t ever have to hide in the closet again because I’ll protect you“ Adora puffs out her chest a little. “I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.”_

_Catra just sits there silently, a little stunned. Undoubtedly, it would be one of the better things that could happen to Catra, but that’s the thing. It sounds too good to be true and good things don’t happen to Catra. Adora was the best thing that ever came into her life, but even that is slipping out of her grasp. It hurts to see Adora with Glitter or whatever her name is and her new family. She knows she’ll eventually lose Adora._

_“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”_

_“What? What do you mean? It’s a great idea! We can see each other everyday and-”_ _  
  
_

_Interrupting her, Catra angrily growls, “I’m not like you Adora. I won’t fit in. They won’t like me. They won’t want me.”_

_If there’s one thing Adora has learned is that Catra tends to get angry to hide what she’s feeling. This reaction, while unexpected, didn’t surprise Adora. However, it does make her heart clench with sadness. How could Catra think that?_

_Carefully, Adora says, “You don’t have to be like me. I like you just the way you are and they all do too.”_

_Catra doesn’t say anything, choosing to wrap her arms around her knees and turn her head away instead. She can’t help but think she doesn’t deserve Adora, doesn’t deserve her kindness. Shadow Weaver always tells her she’ll just drag Adora down with her and if that’s true… then they shouldn’t live together. The only reason they still see each other for these play dates is because Catra is selfish. She wants Adora in any way she can get her. She doesn’t want to let go, not yet. But in all her 6 years of life, she’s learned that nothing good lasts._

_After a few more moments with no reply, Adora ventures, “How about I just ask Micah and Angella and we’ll see what happens from there?”_

_Turning her head back to face Adora, Catra gets a little lost in her bright blue eyes and forgets to respond for a moment. All she wants to do is stay here with Adora forever and maybe that’s all that matters. She has this way about her that just makes Catra want to hold onto her hope and push the negative thoughts away. Nothing good lasts but maybe, just maybe, it can last a little while longer._

_Allowing herself a small smile, Catra nods. Nothing bad can happen as long as she has Adora right?_

_And then as children do, their worries are forgotten as they get up to continue commanding their ship._

_—_

As Adora finishes writing “our love will be passed on,” she can’t help but let a tear slip down her cheek.

She had been so young and naive to think that she could just swoop in and save Catra like she was a damsel in distress. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t a knight in shining armor. She was just a little girl whose hopes were bigger than she knew what to do with.

Now, Adora’s 17 and starting her senior year at Bright Moon High. She’s captain of the soccer team and Vice President of their student council. She has an amazing friend group filled with people who support her. She has a wonderful sister and 2 loving parents. And yet—

She misses her. 

She misses staying up late with Catra, whispering about useless things. She misses sleeping with Catra’s warmth by her feet whenever she decided she didn’t want to sleep in her own bunk. She misses when Catra would accidentally scratch her because she forgot to retract her claws when they wrestled. She misses Catra’s commentary when they watch movies about how dumb the characters are. She misses how her tail would curl around her leg or arm when they were near each other. She misses running her fingers through her fur and feeling more than hearing Catra’s purrs. She misses the times when she would yell “mouse!” just to see Catra jump with her fur and tail fluffing up.

She misses her best friend so much that it makes her heart ache. 

And yeah, maybe it was Adora’s fault that they didn’t keep in touch, but that doesn’t stop her from missing Catra.

It’s crazy how she doesn’t even have a single picture with or of Catra. How can someone be so important to her and she doesn’t even have a picture of them?

It also sucks because it means that Adora has been forgetting more and more of what Catra looks like. She’s tried her hardest to remember every detail, but it’s just not possible. All she can really remember now is light brown fur, a pair of mismatched eyes, one blue and one gold, a pair of cat ears, and a tail.

Shaking her head with a sigh, Adora decides to head downstairs to where Bow and Glimmer are.

—

Turns out, Glimmer and Bow were making some brownies. Bow had just put the baking pan into the oven when they heard Adora’s footsteps on the stairs.

“Hey, you’re making brownies?” Adora says as she walks into the kitchen.

Glimmer looks at her with excited eyes and gives her a quick nod. Bow, just as excited as Glimmer, does the same. However, both are quick to calm down as they regard Adora’s defeated stance and sad eyes.

“Did you wanna talk about what was bothering you earlier?” Bow’s gaze is soft and understanding as he asks the question. 

After a quick beat, Glimmer adds, “You don’t have to.” She reaches out to give Adora’s shoulder a small squeeze before retracting her hand, “Just know that we’re here for you if you do want to talk.”

Adora stands there and stares at a wall silently for a few seconds. Looking back to Glimmer, she runs a hand through her hair and asks, “Do you remember when I was first adopted, we used to have play dates with one of the girls from my foster home?”

Glimmer’s visage is thoughtful. “...I think so. Catra, right? I remember she could never get my name right.” she says as she lets out a small chuckle.

As they’re talking, the three of them migrate into the living room and plop down on the couch.

“Yeah, Catra.” Adora breathes out while smiling a little.

Bow, while he was not friends with them at the time, had heard a little about Catra a few years ago from Glimmer. All he really knew though, was that she and Adora had been best friends up until Adora had to move to Bright Moon with her new family.

The room melts into a comfortable silence as they patiently wait for Adora to continue.

“As you both probably know, we were really close as kids. We were best friends.” Adora pauses and looks down at her hands before continuing, “But our guardian at the foster home, Ms. Weaver… she wasn’t kind.”

Bow, sitting the closest to Adora, puts hit hand on top of hers. Glimmer scoots closer to them as Adora glances up at Bow and he shoots her an encouraging smile.

“I never really drew the short end of the stick because she liked me, but with Catra, she was terrible. Whenever she caught us doing something we weren’t supposed to, Catra was always the one that was yelled at, that was punished.” Adora’s hand is trembling slightly under Bow’s

“She would always tell Catra, ‘The only thing keeping you in this house is Adora’s affection for you.’ and I-I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to help. I wanted to stand up for her, but I was so scared.” Getting visibly upset, Adora’s hand is clutching Bow’s now and her brows are scrunched up.

Before Adora could continue, Bow softly states, “You were only 7, Adora. It was out of your control. It wasn’t your fault so don’t blame yourself.”

Shoulders dropping a bit, Adora sighs, “I know, but I can’t help it. I just feel so guilty. I could have done something. _Anything_.”

Her sister reaches over Bow to place a hand on Adora’s knee causing her to look up. Glimmer repeats what Bow said, but more firmly. “You were _seven_ , Adora. There is nothing you could have done. Ms. Weaver is an _adult_. Her decisions are her own. You couldn’t have done anything to change the situation.”

Bow makes a noise of affirmation as he firmly nods his head with a look of determination on his face. 

The room falls silent again as Adora processes her words and tries her best to believe them. Adora closes her eyes and suddenly blurts out, “I’ve been writing a song about Catra.” Opening her eyes, Adora’s gaze bounces back and forth from Bow and Glimmer to gauge their reactions.

A little shocked, but not too surprised, Glimmer recovers first and inquires, “Is that why you’ve been so distracted?”

“Yes. I realized that I can’t really recall what she looks like and… it makes me sad. I don’t want to forget her.” 

Bow let out a sympathetic sound and asked, “What have you been writing about?”

“Well so far I’ve just been letting my mind drift to different memories and writing about those. It’s nice to just think about her, you know? I feel like she was such a big reason why I was so happy as a kid. But yea… it hurts to know that I’ll probably never see her again.”

“Maybe you can. See her again I mean.” Glimmer says thoughtfully. “Have you tried searching for her on Insta or something?”

Eyes widening a little, Adora sucks in a quiet breath and stutters, “I- No I didn’t think of that.” To herself she thinks _Why didn’t I think of that sooner? Now I know why people always call me dense…_

The timer for the brownies go off in the kitchen. Glimmer laughs at Adora while getting up and dragging Bow with her. “You should do that now. We’ll be right back with fresh brownies!”

Adora nods and pulls her phone out of her pocket so quickly she almost yeets it across the room. _Chill a little Adora_ , she thinks as she chuckles quietly to herself.

Opening Instagram and immediately searching for “catra”, Adora starts scrolling through a bunch of random cat accounts. After about 20 of them, she groans to herself. This is _not_ going to be easy.

Eventually, her eyes land on a profile. “CaptainCatra”. The picture looks like two people, one with scorpion pincers and one with cat ears.

Adora just stares at the screen for a second or two. Her thumb goes to press on the account, but falters right before it touches the screen. _What if it isn’t her? What if it’s just some stranger who has the same name? What if it is, but she doesn’t want to see me? What if she hates me?_

Before Adora could spiral any further, Glimmer and Bow return with a plateful of brownies. Bow is the first to notice Adora’s anxious body language and immediately sets the plate on the coffee table.

“Breathe, Adora. Inhale… Exhale…” he says as he mimics the motions in front of her. They continue to breathe together for a few moments before Adora visibly relaxes a little.

Bow and Glimmer sit down on the couch in the same position as before. 

“You wanna tell us what happened there, hun?” Glimmer asks, concerned.

“I found an account with her name and I guess I just panicked. I’m sorry.”

Bow slips an arm around Adora’s shoulder and squeezes her to his side. “It’s okay, but do you mind if I ask why you panicked?”

Sighing, Adora answers, “I think I’m just conflicted because what if she doesn’t want to see or hear from me?... She must hate me…” It was her fault how they left things. She wouldn’t blame her if Catra never wanted to see her again.  
  


“Why? I thought you two were best friends. Why would she hate you?” Bow questions, a little confused.

Adora’s quiet for a moment, resting her head on Bow’s shoulder. “When I was adopted, I knew that we weren’t staying in Fright Zone for too long. I knew we were moving in half a year, but I didn’t tell Catra.” Pausing for a second before continuing, “When she found out, it was because Shadow Weaver used it to convince her I didn’t care about her, that I was trying to leave without a trace so that Catra wouldn’t be able to contact me.”

Glimmer scoots closer to Bow and reaches out to put a hand on Adora’s knee. She never knew what happened to make Adora withdraw into herself all those years ago when they moved, but it all makes sense now. 

As Adora continues telling her story, her voice gets lower and quieter. “She got so… mad. I’ve seen her angry, but this was different. I could see it in her eyes that she felt hurt and betrayed and I wanted to make it better, but I couldn’t. I messed up and she was so so angry. I told her that I wanted to tell her and that I was just scared because I didn’t want to leave, but she wouldn’t have it. All she could focus on was how I betrayed her.”

She hadn’t realized she was crying until Bow wiped some of her tears away.

“I promised her that I would always protect her. I promised I would always be her friend and I broke that promise. It didn’t help that Shadow Weaver kept telling her how I didn’t care and that she was useless.” Adora’s eyes were distant, lost in the memory. Her hands are clenched into fists.

“So she lashed out, verbally and physically. Her claws caught me right at the jaw, but that didn’t matter. Seeing how much pain I put her through hurt so much worse.” Adora’s voice was almost a whisper at this point as she reaches up to lightly brush over the scar. There are three faint slash marks right on her jawline.

“I have never seen her look at me so coldly. It was like a switch turned off and all her emotions were gone. The last thing she said to me was that she never cared about me anyway and she never wanted to see me again.” Adora can barely finish before she lets out a sob.

Turning his body, Bow pulls Adora into a hug. “Oh Adora…” he breathes out. 

Glimmer gets up, goes over to Adora’s other side, and hugs her as well. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” she murmurs.

They stay in that position for a long time until Adora’s sobs begin to turn into sniffles. They decide to continue the conversation another day so they put on a movie and ate their brownies instead before calling it a night.

—

Back in her room, Adora unlocks her phone and is met with the search results for “catra”. She stares at it before taking a deep breath and clicks on the account.

“This Account is Private. Follow this account to see their photos and video.”

With a groan, Adora drops her phone on her bed and slaps a hand over her face. _What the heck did you expect? Of course her profile is private._

Adora grabs her phone again and looks at her profile picture to confirm if this was her Catra. _Wait…_ my _Catra?_ Shaking her head to get rid of that thought, she brings her phone closer to her face to try to make out the details. 

The picture is a little blurry but she can tell that the girl with cat ears has mismatched eyes. She isn’t completely sure, but her heart is _pounding_ at the thought of those blue and golden eyes. _It_ has _to be her… Heterochromia is too rare for this to be just a coincidence_.

Exhaling shakily, Adora glances at the rest of her profile, but there isn’t a bio and they don’t have any mutual friends. There really isn’t anything else she can do so Adora puts her phone away and gets ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is my first time writing anything so please be gentle(:  
> I hope y'all enjoy this lol I've had this idea floating around in my head for quite a while now.
> 
> If you wanna follow me on tumblr: http://asiantomato.tumblr.com/


	2. to the moon and to saturn

Adora’s dream was like a snapshot of her past with Catra. It felt like she was watching her memories from a third point of view. 

In front of her, young Catra and Adora are chasing each other in a field full of dandelions. They were so happy just running around and screaming without a care for the world.

She could recall that Catra had just turned 7, so they were allowed to do something different for their playdate. They had a little picnic on a hill with Angella there to supervise, but as soon as they had finished their food, they were off to play.

At this point, Adora had been living with her adopted family for about 2 months. Almost everything was perfect in Adora’s world. She had a loving family and an amazing best friend. What more could she ask for?

Adora remembers this day vividly. Catra had always managed to make her feel unadulterated joy, but this particular day was when she realized that the butterflies she gets in her stomach whenever she sees Catra are indicative of feelings other than friendship.

Right as young Adora runs by present-Adora, young Catra tackles her to the ground. Adora pushes her off and they lay side by side giggling. That’s when Adora turned her head and was met with a sight that took her breath away: Catra, surrounded by these little yellow flowers, clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes because she was laughing so hard. 

It was at this moment that Adora realized she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Catra. She wanted to make Catra laugh to forget about all her worries and hold her hand when she was sad. 

Staring at the scene in front of her, present-Adora felt a lump rise in her throat. It was like she was there all over again. She could see how her younger self looked at Catra with such tenderness and warmth. It had felt so freeing to be able to admit to herself that she had feelings for Catra that weren’t strictly platonic.

But before, anything else could happen in the dream, her alarm went off, indicating that it was time to get ready for school. 

Yawning, Adora puts her arms and legs out to stretch the sleepiness away. She gets up and walks over to her desk to pull out her journal, knowing exactly what she wants the bridge to be.

_“Please picture me in the weeds_

_Before I learned civility_

_I used to scream ferociously_

_Any time I wanted”_

Closing her journal again, she sighs before beginning to get ready for school.

—

At school, Adora is grabbing some books from her locker before class starts. The locker next to hers belongs to Perfuma, one of the people from her friend group, who is a plant enthusiast and self-care expert. 

“Hey Adora, did you hear there’s gonna be a new student today?” Perfuma asks excitedly as she closes her locker. 

“Oh? How do you know?” Adora’s still a little distracted with thoughts of Catra floating in her head, but she’s a little curious about this new student.

“Ms. Casta told me about her. I’m supposed to show her around today.”

Ms. Casta is the adviser for the Associated Student Body (ASB) and she’s also Glimmer’s aunt. Casta is her first name, but she insists that the kids call her Ms. Casta instead of her last name. No one’s really sure why, but it probably has to do with how she wants to be more “hip” and “chill”.

Adora hums in acknowledgement and says, “That sounds fun. I assume you’re excited?” She lets out a small chuckle as Perfuma practically bounces in place.

“Yes! I just love meeting new people!” Glancing at her phone, the plant connoisseur realizes she should be meeting the new kid. “Oh! Sorry Adora, I gotta go to the office to meet her right now.”

“No worries.” Adora reassures her and smiles, “Tell me how it goes at lunch. Have fun!”

With that, Perfuma rushes off and Adora finishes getting her things out of her locker before closing it. The bell rings, indicating that it’s time to head for first period, right as Adora’s locker shuts.

—

It’s fourth period and Adora is sitting in her calculus class next to her sister. They’re both waiting for the bell to ring so that they can get to lunch and have a break from all these classes. 

Honestly, Adora’s been pretty distracted all day, but math just makes it so much worse. She’ll get lost in thought for _two_ seconds and when she looks back at the board, the entire thing is _filled_ with equations??? How is that even possible? Well actually maybe it has something to do with her teacher, Ms. Octavia, having 4 extra tentacles.

Glancing at the clock, she sees that there’s only about a minute or two left before the bell rings so she slowly starts to pack up her things. This, of course, causes everyone else in the class to pack up their things too. 

The bell rings as the blonde shoves her notebook into her backpack and everyone gets up to leave before Ms. Octavia could tell them “the bell doesn’t dismiss them”. 

As usual, the soccer captain and her sister get their lunch and make their way to the table where all their friends are sitting. Their group consists of Bow, Mermista, Sea Hawk, Frosta, and Perfuma. It’s a bit of an odd combination but they make it work.

Adora and Glimmer approach the table and sit between Bow and Perfuma. Pretty much immediately, the purple haired girl turns to her mans and starts talking to him.

Adora on the other hand, turns to Perfuma and decides to ask, “Hey how was showing the new kid around?”

“It was great! I really liked her and before I forget-” Perfuma looks away from Adora to address the entire table, “Is it okay with everyone if the new student sits with us?”

Everyone either nods their head or says yes before turning back to their previous conversations. Perfuma gives her attention back to Adora and excitedly explains, “She was really funny and super nice. We actually have a few classes together and I think we really connected.” She blushes a little as she finishes her sentence.

Smiling, Adora says, “That sounds amazing! I’m glad you two are getting along so well.” Adora turns back to her food and starts shoveling it into her mouth. Being a team captain and going to the gym in her free time, the blonde is basically eating or drinking water constantly. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Perfuma wave someone over to the table, but she’s a little too caught up in her food to really pay too much attention. However, the blonde does take notice when she comes up to the table. Adora glances up quickly and goes back to her food, but once her brain processes what she just saw, Adora’s head suddenly shoots back up. 

Wide-eyed, staring at the new girl with half chewed food still in her mouth, Adora’s brain is working overtime. The girl that Perfuma was motioning to sit at their table had a shock of white hair, two scorpion pincers, and a scorpion tail. 

_That’s the girl in Catra’s profile picture!_

“Everyone, this is Scorpia! She’s the person I gave a tour to this morning!” Perfuma practically exclaims at the rest of the table.

Looking a little sheepish, Scorpia waves one pincer and says, “Hi! It’s so nice to meet everyone. Perfuma had such nice things to say about all of you. I hope we can all be friends too! I would love to be friends with all of you.” It was kind of impressive how she was able to say all of that in one breath. 

Meanwhile, Adora was trying to figure out if she should ask Scorpia about Catra right now or if she should wait a little before jumping in. She was actually sitting right next to her since Perfuma had scooted away from Adora to make space for the half-scorpion. 

Quickly deciding to just ask before she talks herself out of it, Adora sticks a hand out towards Scorpia and announces, “Hi, I’m Adora!”

Scorpia looks at her hand, then back at Adora before laughing and sticking her pincer out, “I’m not sure I can squeeze your hand for a handshake, but you can put your hand on top of my claw and we can shake.”

Adora blushes a little but does as she says. “Actually, this might be a little weird but can I ask you a question?”

“Oh, is it about my tail or pincers? People usually have a lot of questions about that, but I don’t mind! I actually kind of like answering their questions, it makes me feel useful, like a fountain of knowledge! Oh, I’m rambling aren’t I? Sorry, what’s up?” 

A little stunned by the onslaught of words, Adora lets out a small laugh. “It’s okay. Unfortunately, my question isn’t about your tail or pincers.” Adora pauses, wringing her hands a little before nervously continuing. “Again, this is probably a little weird, but I was trying to find one of my childhood friends on Instagram last night and I did eventually find her. I was looking at her profile picture and I’m pretty sure you were in it, so I guess what I’m trying to ask is how do you know Catra?”

Scorpia tilts her head a little with a surprised expression on her face. “You’re _Catra’s_ Adora?!” she gasped. “Oh my gosh! I’ve heard so much about you! I’m Catra’s sister!” Her eyes are wide and sparkling with excitement to be meeting her sister’s childhood best friend. 

It takes Adora a moment to process this information. She never thought, in a million years, she would be here sitting next to Catra’s sister. It’s a lot to take in, but eventually she manages to get out, “I’m not sure she had very good things to say about me…”

At first, Scorpia looks a little confused, but she promptly realizes what Adora is talking about. “Oh- I- Yeah, she didn’t at first, but I think she’s made a lot of progress. Actually, you can ask her yourself!” 

At this point, Adora’s brain is gonna start melting if it has to work any harder than it already is. You could basically see the steam coming off her head.

Anxiously, Adora inquires, “What do you mean I can ask her myself?” Even the thought of seeing Catra again is making her heart feel like it’s gonna beat out of her chest. Her palms are already starting to sweat and her knees are bouncing like crazy under the table.

“Her first day at school is tomorrow. I started today because I moved here a little earlier to help with some stuff around the house. But yeah, I’ll let her know you’re here and see what she decides to do?” 

Overall, Scorpia seems pretty excited to see Catra be reunited with her ex best friend and if she’s excited, then that means Adora shouldn’t be too worried right? So Adora agrees with her right as the bell rings.  
  
Standing up, Scorpia grins, “I’ll see you tomorrow Adora!” and the rest of the gang gets up to go to their respective classes.

—

Finally home, Adora drops her backpack to the floor of her bedroom and plops unceremoniously down onto her bed. Her body may look relaxed from her exhaustion, but her thoughts are going a hundred miles an hour.

The last 24 hours have been a wild roller coaster and Adora isn’t sure she’s enjoying it. If you had told her yesterday that she would be seeing Catra again for the first time in what— 10 years? She would’ve laughed and immediately dismissed the idea.

But now, it’s real and all within her grasp. The more she thinks about it, she can feel her anxiety clawing its way up her throat so she does her best to calm her breathing. 

Trying to keep her mind off of it for now, Adora grabs her journal and guitar to continue writing her song. She only needs to figure out what she wants the chorus to be and sound like before the song is complete.

One memory in particular sticks out to the blonde and she lets herself get lost in it. 

—

_Sweet tea in the summer_

_Cross your heart, won't tell no other_

_And though I can't recall your face_

_I still got love for you_

_Your braids like a pattern_

_Love you to the moon and to Saturn_

_Passed down like folk songs_

_The love lasts so long_

_There’s still about 3 months left before Adora has to move away with her new family. She hasn’t told Catra yet, but she’s been planning to, she swears._

_Anyways, Catra’s over at Adora’s house today and they’re sitting on the balcony stargazing. Adora has her telescope right next to them. Tonight was supposed to be the best time to see Saturn’s rings so they’ve been trying to find Saturn for the past 10 minutes or so, but gave up for the time being._

_Near them, there’s a small table with two teacups. Every time Catra has the chance to come over, Angella always makes them some sweet tea. It’s not much, but it never fails to make Catra feel more welcome and comfortable in their house._

_Both girls are wrapped under a blanket, sitting side by side on a bench, staring up at the night sky. Catra’s tail is loosely wrapped around Adora’s waist and her head is slightly leaning onto the taller girl’s shoulder. The two are giggling at a comment Catra made about Shadow Weaver before falling silent again._

_It’s a comfortable peace. The kind of silence that only comes when two people understand each other._

_Suddenly, Adora blurts out, “Can I braid your hair?”_

_Catra jumps while her fur and tail fluff up a bit. She meets her best friend’s eyes, but just ends up blinking at her and sputtering, “Um why?”_

_Tilting her head and smiling softly, Adora explains, “Well I think your hair is really pretty and I kinda wanna play with it… I mean if you’ll let me?”_

_Catra still looks a little lost, but her fur has settled down so Adora gestures her hand towards her wild mane and says, “I can brush it for you. It’ll be fun.”_

_Hesitantly, Catra nods her head once as she quietly mumbles, “okay,” and Adora practically runs to grab a hairbrush. For some reason this feels like it’ll be more intimate than anything they’ve done before._

_Recently, Catra’s been feeling a weird fluttering in her stomach whenever Adora is around and she just makes her feel so giddy. Why? She’s not sure, but she assumes it’s because they’re friends. Catra’s never really had a close friend, or even a friend, before so maybe this is just how it’s supposed to be? Maybe that’s why other people are always so happy. It makes sense._

_Meanwhile, Adora flops back down next to the catgirl and gently grabs her shoulders to turn her so her back is facing Adora._

_Gathering her hair back, Adora begins to brush it softly._

_After a few strokes, Adora feels a sort of rumbling under the hand that’s holding onto Catra’s shoulder._

_“... Are you- purring?”_

_Immediately, the rumbling stops._

_“... No.”_

_Usually, Adora would just let it go, but she’s only heard/felt Catra purr_ maybe _once and she wants to hear more of it. So she gently murmurs, “It’s okay to enjoy this. I like brushing your hair.”_

_Her admission is met with silence, but as she continues brushing her best friend’s hair, she feels her begin to purr again._

_With a fond expression, Adora puts the brush down and runs her fingers through Catra’s hair. When she gets a little too close to her ears, they flick once to let her know. Instead of removing her hands, however, the older girl gently rubs the spot behind the brunette’s ear._

_Catra is obviously enjoying the attention as her purrs are increasing in intensity and are becoming more audible._

_Meanwhile, Adora is rethinking her idea to braid Catra’s hair because she honestly doesn’t even know where to begin. She just kinda… thought it would be a fun bonding activity? Plus, she’s always wanted to play with the brunette’s hair._

I mean it can’t be _that_ hard… right? _Adora thinks as she separates the curly hair into 3 sections._ What can go wrong? _And with that, she hopes for the best and begins braiding._

_There’s nothing wrong with the silence. It’s actually quite peaceful, but Adora’s never been one to stay quiet for long so she decides to voice some of her thoughts. “Do you think there are any aliens on Saturn?”_

_This pulls a giggle out of the other girl. “Yeah, like how there are mermaids in the ocean and dinosaurs in Middle-Earth.” she says sarcastically. Although it comes out as more of a sigh due to how relaxed she is at the moment._

_Adora slaps her shoulder lightly before passionately declaring, “Mermaids_ are _real! And you know what, I bet dinosaurs are real too.” Even though Catra can’t see her, the blonde still pouts behind her back._

_“How do you know? Have you ever seen a mermaid or a dinosaur before?”_

_“I just know! It’s like how I’ve never seen Santa before, but he’s real.”_

_“But you’ve never seen him before. How do you_ know _?” As Catra asks her question, she starts to shift her body to look at the other girl, but Adora just grabs her shoulders and makes her face forward again._

_“Catra.” Adora warns as she keeps trying to braid her hair._

_“Hey Adora.” Catra teases._

_And just like that, their bickering ceases._

_Scooting back on the bench, Adora examines her work. It’s… not the best, but it’s presentable?_

_Catra, getting impatient, asks, “Well? What does it look like?”_

_Adora sits there opening and closing her mouth a few times, but she doesn’t really know what to say. One arm is crossed over her stomach and the other hand is raised to her lips. She decides to show the catgirl instead of making a comment so she tells her, “Let me go get a mirror for you.”_

_Returning with a mirror a few seconds later, she hands it to Catra to inspect her hair and Adora sits down behind her again._

_“...”_

_“......”_

_“It’s not… bad…”_

_For a moment, they lock eyes and stare at each other through the mirror before bursting into laughter._

_When their boisterous chuckles were reduced to periodic giggles, Adora pouts, “Not bad doesn’t mean good.” She really did her best! She only puts her hair into a ponytail and hasn’t tried anything fancier than that._

_Catra just smirks at her and affirms, “Correct.”_

_Adora lets out a playful sigh and rolls her eyes. “Come here, I’ll take them out and brush your hair again.”_

_Getting back into their previous positions, Adora quickly sets upon her task._

_After Catra’s hair is fixed, they embark on their quest to search for Saturn again. Adora is the one who ends up finding it and when she does, she gasps and excitedly shouts, “Look! It’s Saturn!”_

_While she’s still looking through the telescope, the taller girl reaches back to grab Catra’s arm and accidentally catches her by the hand instead. They both freeze._

_Both Adora’s and Catra’s hearts start beating rapidly. Sure, the two get handsy when they’re wrestling and tackling each other, but this is different. They’re not play-fighting. It’s an innocent touch, but it means something to both of them._

_But of course, neither of them say anything and they end up believing that it means nothing to the other._

_Adora is the first to recover and pulls her hand away to motion towards the telescope. Breathlessly, she says, “Here, look. It’s really pretty.”_

_In Catra’s mind, she attributes the blonde’s breathlessness to Saturn’s beauty, but in reality, it’s because of her._

_Taking a step towards the telescope, Catra says, “I’ll be the judge of that.”_

_While she does that, Adora takes a step back and tries to calm her heart down. In the 5 seconds that they had held hands, Adora’s heart rate had spiked an almost concerning amount so she’s trying to take deep breaths._

_Suddenly, while she’s still looking at Saturn, the younger girl asks, “Why do people say ‘I love you to the moon and back?’”_

_“Uh, because of how far it is? So it takes really long to get there and that’s how long they’ll love the other person?” It seemed pretty obvious to Adora._

_“Well, yeah obviously.” Catra snarks as she steps back from the telescope and goes to sit on the bench before looking at Adora. “What I meant is it’s not even that far. Saturn is waaay more far. So why do people say ‘I love you to the moon and back’ and not something like ‘I love you to the moon and to Saturn’?”_

_Adora is left speechless as Catra finishes her question. “That… is a good question.” She moves to join her on the bench and sits so that they’re facing each other._

_Catra smiles, but before she can say anything, Adora cuts in enthusiastically, “That can be our thing!”_

_Gazing into Adora’s eyes, the brunette is caught off guard. Adora’s stormy blue eyes, made darker by the night sky, are glittering like the stars above them. It’s captivating how deep they seem to go. Adding on top of that, the implications of what the blonde is saying, that she loves and will continue to love Catra for that long, leaves Catra breathless._

_Ever since she met Adora, she knew that loving Adora would come as easily to her as breathing did. She might not have known how to put those feelings to words, but she felt it. Deeply. So it makes sense to Catra; she loves Adora to the moon and to Saturn. But Adora loving her back?_

_In anyone else’s eyes, it’s pretty obvious. Catra loves Adora and Adora loves Catra. But to Catra, it’s not. Shadow Weaver has planted every seed of doubt that she possibly could into her mind. Adora’s love isn’t real; she just pities her because she feels bad that Catra doesn’t have any other friends. That’s just who Adora is: kind and self-sacrificing._

_So yeah, it makes sense. Catra loves Adora to the moon and to Saturn, but does Adora love Catra?_

_Adora, oblivious as always, doesn’t notice her best friend is lost in thought. She squeals in delight and continues to chatter, “It’s perfect! I_ do _love you to the moon and to Saturn.”_

_Glancing down at her hands which are fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt, she quietly admits, “I think I could love you forever.” It’s almost inaudible and she isn’t quite sure if she wants Catra to hear it or not._

_But Catra does hear it. Adora is just too caught up in her own head at the moment to notice her pause._

_Once she looks back up though, the younger girl has recovered enough to shoot her a grin and chooses to ignore that last part. “You love me? How embarrassing for you.”_

_Now usually, Adora would laugh, brush it off, and downplay it, but she was feeling some type of way tonight. So instead, she murmurs, “Of course I do. How could I not?”_

_And naturally, Catra likes to avoid these vulnerable heart-to-hearts so she keeps teasing Adora. “Hm is there anyone else you like? Maybe a crush?” She gives her an exaggerated wink before bursting into laughter._

_Adora stays silent for a beat too long and Catra immediately pounces. “You do! Who is it? Is it Rogelio? Ugh, don’t tell me it’s Kyle.”_

_The tips of the blonde’s ears are bright red and her cheeks are on their way to being the same color. From those two options Catra just gave her, she feels a little insulted and in shows when she replies. “No! Ew no. I don’t like them like that.”_

_“Then who? Tell me, tell me, tell me.”_

_“Catra!”_

_“Adora!”_

_Adora huffs and crosses her arms while Catra’s tail is lightly thumping on the bench. A hundred thoughts are running through her mind, but all she knows is that she_ can’t _tell Catra she’s been having feelings for her. It would make things awkward since the brunette definitely doesn’t feel the same way._

_“Come on, you can tell me anything. I won’t judge.”_

_This immediately makes Adora laugh. “You judge everything! We literally sit together sometimes to judge people.”_

_Catra looks thoughtful for a second before nodding her head and admits, “Okay, you’re right. But still, I won’t judge_ you _, Adora.”_

_Nervous, Adora stutters, “I-I don’t… I don’t think I like boys… in that way.”_

_It’s quiet as Adora fiddles with her shirt again and Catra just blinks at her. It takes her a moment to process what she just heard and she asks, “Does that mean you like… girls?” to make sure she heard correctly._

_“Yeah.”_

_“Oh.”_

_“... Is that okay?”_

_That question seems to shock Catra out of whatever is going on in her mind and her ears point forward. As her eyes widen and her gaze locks onto Adora’s, she sputters, “Yeah! Yes, it’s okay.” She brings her tail to lay across Adora’s legs. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”_

_The tension in Adora’s body seemed to flood out of her as her body slumps to the side against the bench. She isn’t sure why, but hearing that Catra’s okay with this makes her feel emotional. Tears had gathered in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away before the other girl could see._

_But before she could tell her anything else, she had to make sure. “Please don’t tell anyone else.”_

_Catra makes a cross over her chest with her finger and promises, “Cross my heart. I won’t tell anyone.”_

—

Adora goes over the entire song a few more times, but it kind of feels like something is missing. _Maybe a change in the chorus the second time it appears? Hm. Eh I’ll do it later._

About an hour later, she ends up in Glimmer’s room to just chill and do their homework together. Glimmer is sitting on her bed while Adora is on the floor and they’re working on an assignment for calculus when Adora pipes up, “Hey you remember Scorpia?”

Her sister, who was already kind of losing her mind over the assignment, was glad to finally make some conversation. So she turns to her and gives Adora her full attention. “The new girl right? What about her?”

Adora fiddles with her pencil for a bit and answers, “I thought she looked familiar… like the girl in Catra’s profile picture so I asked her if they knew each other.” She looks up to make eye contact with Glimmer before finishing, “She told me they’re sisters and that she’ll ask Catra if she wants to meet me tomorrow…”

Shocked, Glimmer’s eyebrows fly up and she straightens her posture. “Wow,” she breathes out. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Well I couldn’t really say anything because the bell rang and Scorpia was already leaving to find her next class.”

“What are you gonna do?”  
  
“I don’t know.” Adora looks down at her lap. “I don’t know if she’ll want to see me and I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know if I’m scared or excited or both… Actually, I’m both.”

Chuckling humorlessly, she looks back at the purple-haired girl. “I don’t know what I would do if she never wants to see me again.”

Glimmer pats the space next to her, indicating she wants Adora to come closer so she does. They sit facing each other and Glimmer reaches out to grab her hands, hesitantly saying, “Is there something you’re not telling me Adora?”

The blonde’s eyebrows furrow, but before she can say anything her sister quickly interrupts. “I don’t want to push you into telling me anything you don’t want to, but it just feels like there was something more between you two. I’m not sure I would be so… hurt?” The inflection on the last word sounds more like a question than a statement. “Not over a best friend and not when it’s already been 10 years.”

Sighing, Adora squeezes Glimmer’s hand as she confesses, “It’s okay I just never really unpacked it, but I liked Catra as more than a friend. I’m pretty sure I was fully in love with her and I know that sounds crazy because we were like 7, but she was— _is_ my soulmate. Being with her felt like coming home. It didn’t matter that we were in a shitty house and in a shitty situation because I had her.”

The blonde pauses for a moment, trying to find the words to fully express her feelings. She had never told anyone these things before. 

“Before I was put into Weaver’s foster home, I was so scared. I didn’t trust anyone, didn’t know I _could_ trust anyone. But then I met Catra.” Her eyes drifted off to look out the window behind Glimmer while her mind got lost in the memory.

“Everyone had warned me that she was a troublemaker and to stay away from her, but one day I was crying over something. I’m not even sure what it was anymore, but we were both in bed already and she heard me. Instead of ignoring me like everyone else did, she climbed down from her top bunk to curl up by my feet. She’ll never admit it, but I could feel her purr.” At that particular memory, Adora lets out a watery chuckle.

“It might sound silly, but she made me feel _safe_. Like she would purr away all my demons.” Glimmer gives her a sad smile. “She was the first person I felt like I could really trust with anything. It didn’t matter what happened or where we were because as long as I had her, I knew everything was going to be okay… Until the end.”

As soon as Adora finishes, Glimmer pulls her in for a hug. They stay like that a good minute before releasing each other and getting back to work.

—

It’s the next day and Adora barely slept a wink. She’s been so nervous about what was gonna happen today and on top of that, she had to wake up early to drive Glimmer to school. Her sister was part of ASB and they had a meeting today an hour before class started.

So here she is, trying to decide what to do with herself because there’s barely anyone there at this hour. She walks around aimlessly, but realizes that she’s heading towards the music room.

The music teacher, Mr. Swift Wind, is an alicorn (not a unicorn, not a pegasus, and _definitely_ not a horse. Do not call him a horse). No one really knows how he got the job, but nonetheless, he is the music teacher. Adora knows there’s always at least one guitar in the room at all times so she figures she can just work on her song and see if she could figure out what was missing.

Adora’s pretty close with Mr. Swift Wind so he has no problem letting her in to use the instruments. She heads towards the back and quickly finds the guitar to practice her song. 

She goes through the first few verses and chorus, but she can’t seem to figure it out. Deciding to just get used to how it sounds and feels on the guitar for now, she sings the song a few more times.

—

Today is Catra’s first day at her new school: Bright Moon High. Yesterday, her adopted sister, Scorpia, had come home from school announcing that she met Adora.

So imagine her shock when she heard that she would be attending the same high school as her ex-best friend. The same friend who left her 10 years ago. She’s had a lot of time to work out her feelings, but Catra isn’t sure if she’s ready for confrontation. 

Scorpia, on the other hand, is completely sure that Catra is ready for this meeting and even asks her to meet with Adora the next day. The catgirl just brushes it off and tells her sister she’ll think about it.

And here she is, at school _an hour early_ because Scorpia was so excited to show her around even though she’s only had one day on campus. Anyways, she manages to lose her when they run into some hippie-lookin ass.

On her own now, Catra walks aimlessly around to get a feel for the campus. As she walks, her ears prick forward as she hears someone singing so she decides to investigate. The voice is soft, yet strong. Listening more carefully, she’s able to make out the lyrics.

“ _And I've been meaning to tell you_

_I think your house is haunted_

_Your dad is always mad and that must be why_

_And I think you should come live with_

_Me and we can be pirates_

_Then you won't have to cry_

_Or hide in the closet”_

The lyrics are so familiar, making her ear flick once. They remind her of her past with Adora because that’s… _exactly_ what happened, well not the dad part, but it’s suspiciously close.

Furrowing her eyebrows and narrowing her eyes, Catra walks with more of a purpose as she approaches the open classroom door. She pauses right before she moves into view, listening to more of the lyrics. 

The more she hears, the more confused Catra is. It’s absolutely way too similar to her memories and it’s making her tail flick with nervousness. Taking a deep breath, she pokes her head past the doorframe to see who’s singing. Her eyes immediately widen as her fur bristles.

Catra is looking right at Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I was googling synonyms for breathless and one of the results was "asthmatic". I laughed for a good minute at that lol
> 
> If you wanna follow me on tumblr: http://asiantomato.tumblr.com/


	3. hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter came out so late! I've been so busy with finals and work, but here it is :) Hope y'all enjoy this

Immediately, Catra snaps her head back, but in the process of doing so, ends up ramming her head into the doorframe. Face scrunched up in pain with her eyes closed, she brings a hand up to rub the area that hurts.

Inside the music room, Adora startles at the loud thump and looks up to see a flash of brown disappear from the doorway. She puts her guitar down and gets up, confused, to see what was going on.

Adora cautiously looks around outside for an intruder. To the left, empty. To the right, there’s a disgruntled catgirl rubbing the side of her head.

The second her brain caught up with what her eyes just saw, the blonde's head whips back to the right. She has to reach a hand out to the doorframe to steady herself lest she fainted.

_Those eyes. I would recognize them anywhere_. 

When the pain lessens, Catra opens her eyes to see Adora, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, staring at her only a few feet away. She could recognize that dumb hair poof anywhere. Although, the three faint claw marks on her jaw are also recognizable but she doesn’t want to think about that right now.

As they continue to stare at each other like the idiots they are, Catra’s ears flatten against her skull. She definitely was _not_ ready for this, but I guess this is fate telling her to get her shit together.

Adora, on the other hand, isn’t doing much better. The shock is slowly starting to dissipate so she’s able to let go of the doorframe, but there are a million thoughts running through her mind. She was _not_ ready to see Catra this early. Adora thought she would have at _least_ until lunch before they would meet again so that she could rehearse what she wanted to say.

Catra recovers first, but before she could stop herself, she practically purrs, “Hey Adora.”

“H-hey Catra,” stutters Adora. She really wasn’t prepared for this. Especially not this early in the morning.

They kind of shift awkwardly on their feet, not knowing what to say to the other.

Trying to cut the tension, the taller girl blurts out, “How have you been?” She cringes a little to herself because what the heck? She couldn’t have come up with something more interesting to say?

Catra blinks a few times before slowly saying, “I’ve been okay.” There’s a moment of hesitation before she continues, “And you?”

“Yeah, me too. I’ve been okay.” God, Adora could die from how tense the air is around them. If the Earth could open up and swallow her whole right now, that would be great.

Meanwhile Adora is going through her internal struggle, Catra’s curiosity gets the best of her and she finds herself asking, “That song you were singing. What is it?”

Adora’s body breaks out into a cold sweat. _Oh fuck. What the fuck. What do I do? What do I_ say _?_ She never thought this day would come where she would have to explain that she wrote a song about Catra _to Catra_. So what can she really do except blurt out, “Nothing.”

Catra raises an eyebrow at that, then narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Really? Because it sounded familiar.”

“I-I…” Adora pauses, trying to gather her thoughts. _Shit, should I just tell her? Ugh she’s never going to want to talk or see me again if I do though_ . Wringing her hands in front of her, the blonde decides, _fuck it. I’ve gotten this far in life I might as well just tell her_. “I wrote it… about us.”

Whatever Catra was expecting, it certainly was _not_ that. Her fur bristles as her tail poofs up a little. Shocked, she just stares at her ex-best friend. 

Already uncomfortable, Adora somehow gets even _more_ uncomfortable with Catra staring at her. She can’t seem to read what her expression is besides surprise. Based on her body language though, she can tell the hybrid is 1 wrong word away from bolting.

Not being able to take the silence any longer, Adora opens her mouth to say something, but before she can even get a word out, there’s a shout of “Hey Catra!” to their right. Both of them turn to see Scorpia waving her pincer and walking towards them.

“Oh hey Adora, you’re here too! I see you two have had the chance to meet,” Scorpia beams at the two ex-best friends. However, she quickly realizes there’s this underlying tension between them and sheepishly asks, “... Did I interrupt something?”

At the same time, Adora says, “No.” and Catra says, “Yes.”

Catra turns to glare at the blonde as Adora pointedly stares at a spot over Scorpia’s shoulder. 

Awkwardly, Scorpia murmurs, “Oookay. I’ll just-” Before she’s able to finish though, the bell rings, indicating first period. 

Catra immediately stomps off with Scorpia following in her wake. While Scorpia gives Adora a wave as she walks away, Catra does not.

Feeling dejected, Adora sighs before retrieving her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder, and heading to class. 

—

Sitting in her 4th class of the day, Catra is absolutely not paying attention at all. So far, she had her first two classes with Scorpia and the 3rd with Perfuma (Scorpia quickly introduced them during passing period), but she didn’t know anyone in this class. The most interesting thing that’s happened so far is some short girl with purple hair tripping on her way in, but other than that, the class has been incredibly boring to her.

It probably doesn’t help that all she can think about is a certain blonde girl with biceps for days.

_What the fuck happened this morning?_ Catra ponders. _Adora is… writing a_ song _about me? She_ thinks _about me enough to write a_ song _about me???_

She can’t help but think of the implications of that. Sure, she still thinks about Adora, but that’s because she was, quite frankly, in love with the girl. _But why is Adora still thinking of me? What does it_ mean _? ...does she miss me… like I miss her?_

The bell rings, snapping Catra out of her thoughts. She quickly grabs her things and makes her way out of the room, running straight into someone. It feels like she ran into a brick wall and she almost falls, but luckily a hand shot out to grab her waist to pull her back to her feet.

“Hey! Watch where you’re-” Catra starts, but trails off once she sees who it is.

Adora’s hand is still on her waist, not grabbing anymore, just gently resting there. The heat of her palm feels like it can make Catra burst into flames on the spot. 

Blushing bright red, Adora stammers out an apology. “S-sorry, I didn’t see you coming out.” Her hand subconsciously squeezes, but she doesn’t seem to realize it’s still on Catra’s waist.

“It’s fine, Adora.” Catra’s reply is curt, but a little distracted. Currently, Catra is debating if she should do something about Adora’s hand placement. If she says something, it’ll be even more awkward, but if she doesn’t say anything, she feels like she might die from how fast her heart is beating.

Before she could say anything, Adora seems to connect the dots and yanks her hand back like she just touched a hot stove (which I mean… Catra _is_ pretty hot). If possible, Adora’s face grew even redder than it already was. The look of horror on her face would’ve made Catra laugh if she wasn’t so embarrassed herself. 

Adora clears her throat and asks, “Do you want to sitwithmeforlunch?” The last part comes out in a rush, almost incomprehensible. “I mean, Scorpia is sitting with us since she knows Perfuma and I just thought you could too! If you want to. You don’t have to.” She looks down and rocks back onto her heels. Quietly, she adds, “I would like it if you did.” 

Unsure of what spirit is possessing her body right now, Catra says, “Sure, but _only_ because Scorpia will be there.”

Adora beams at her reply. Catra’s words may indicate that she isn’t doing this to spend time with Adora, but she knows that if the brunette really didn’t want to be around her, she wouldn’t even consider it. And that makes her feel like she could conquer the world.

Luckily for them, the cafeteria is near Catra’s 4th period, so they didn’t have to fill the silence with too much small talk. Once they get their food, they head over to Adora’s usual table. Most of the gang, including Scorpia, is already there at one of the circular tables. Seeing this, Catra sits down next to her while Adora squeezes in between Catra and Bow.

“Wildcat! You’re sitting with us today?” Scorpia grins and her eyes flicker between the two of them. 

Catra just gives her an affirmative grunt.

Taking the initiative, Scorpia introduces her to the rest of the group. Everyone greets her or waves and goes back to their own business.

However, Catra couldn’t help but notice how the pink-haired girl that tripped in her 4th period and the black boy immediately flick their eyes towards Adora. Looking at the girl more closely, she realizes that that’s _Glimmer_ , Adora’s adoptive sister.

_Hm, seems like Adora has told them about me._ The thought makes her heart beat a little faster. 

She also can’t help but notice how the boy gives Adora a nudge with his elbow as he glances at Catra as if he’s telling the blonde to talk to her. She observes Adora out of the corner of her eye, taking in how nervous she seemed. Her leg was bouncing under the table and her grip on the spoon she was holding was making her knuckles turn white.

Suddenly, the taller girl turns to face her and asks, “How has your first day been?”

_Okay, I can do small talk._

“It was fine. The most interesting thing was seeing Shimmer over there trip on her way into 4th period.” Catra smirks as she looks right at Glimmer. 

Adora shoots Glimmer a grin and says, “That sounds about right.”

Choosing to ignore most of Catra’s statement, Glimmer scowls, “I see you still can’t get my name right.”

Before Catra could make a retort, she had already turned back to converse with Bow. Raising an eyebrow, she directs her attention to Adora. “What have you been up to all these years?”

“Oh um, I’m the captain of the soccer team.” She pauses for a moment, contemplating how much she can say without it sounding like she’s bragging. “I’m also Vice President of the student council.”

Catra’s face is impressed. “And you like to write songs for fun in your free time?”

Adora’s face is horrified. She shifts uncomfortably in the seat and looks away from Catra. “Yeeaa, I do.”

“And?”

“And… what?”

“You wrote about us.”

The air around the two of them feels stifling now, but no one else seems to notice.

Taking a deep breath, Adora makes eye contact with her again. “Yeah, I did.” Her gaze is intense, shocking Catra a bit. “I’ll tell you all about it if you want to know, just… not here?” She glances around the table, making sure no one else is listening to them.

Catra shrugs and continues eating her lunch.

“We can talk after school? I don’t have practice today so we can go grab something to eat and talk?” suggests Adora.

Glancing at the blonde, Catra makes hums a yes and then asks, “So soccer captain, huh?”

It’s an olive branch that Catra’s extending towards Adora and she is incredibly grateful for it. She has absolutely no idea how to do this, but if the catgirl is willing to be here with her, then she’ll give it her all.

Smiling, Adora starts rambling about the team, telling her wild stories from games. It’s… nice. This isn’t what she had expected their reunion to be like, in all honesty. She had expected tears and anger and heartbreak and abandonment… it always ended like that for her. 

But being here, surrounded by Adora’s and still being the only one her ex-best friend is paying attention to? God, it sounds so cheesy, but she really does feel like nothing else matters, like it's just her and Adora in this room right now. Their easy-going conversations fell back into place after whatever that mess about the song was.

It’s always been so _easy_ with Adora. Catra’s heart aches for all the time they lost. The time they lost because of _her_ . Her anger. Her bitterness. It’s obvious how much Adora wants them to be friends again and judging by the fact that she _writes songs about them_ , she’s been wanting this for a long time.

And it hurts.

It hurts because that’s all Catra wanted too. She missed Adora with every fiber of her soul. Whenever she would jerk awake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat from whatever nightmare was racing through her mind, her heart yearned for Adora. Even a simple touch would have done wonders to bring her back down to earth. 

But she never knew how to reach out to her. What would she say? What would she do? She had been so, so angry when Adora had left her and now… is she still angry?

Tuning back into reality, Adora is just finishing up one of her stories.

“...and then Mermista made the most beautiful goal I have ever seen!” Adora is absolutely beaming at her, eyes bright and shining.

The excitement and happiness radiating off of the blonde makes Catra’s shoulders relax and a lazy grin spreads on her face. “Sounds like you have some competition there, Adora. Lucky she’s on your team and not the other.”

As Adora chuckles, the bell rings signalling the end of lunch. They all get up to throw away their trash and head to class, but before Catra could make it out of the cafeteria, Adora grabs her arm.

The captain bites her lip, looking nervous. “Meet me in the parking lot after school? I’ll wait for you.”

“Sure, I’ll just look for your dumb hair poof,” Catra snarks as she reaches out to tap Adora’s poof. And with that, she walks off to her next class. 

—

Heading into the school parking lot, Catra pretty much immediately spots Adora next to her beat up pick up truck. Seeing her, the blond gives her a small wave and goes to open the passenger door for her. Catra raises an eyebrow at that, but climbs in without a peep.

Once the two are situated, Adora suggests, “We could go to Razz’s Diner. It’s a short drive and the pie literally tastes like heaven.” She grins. “There’s usually not too many people there so we can talk more comfortably.”

Catra smirks, “Alright, if the pie doesn’t immediately send me to heaven, I’m getting a refund.”

That makes Adora’s grin turn into a full-bellied laugh. “I will personally send you a dozen pies as an apology if your soul doesn’t get immediately yeeted towards heaven.” Putting her truck into drive, she starts heading to the diner. 

On the way there, the car is most filled with music from Adora’s gay playlist. They joke back and forth for a bit, but for the most part, they stay silent due to the nerves of the upcoming conversation.

After about a 5-10 minute drive, they pull up to Razz’s and scoot into a booth opposite of each other.

A short grandma with crazy hair and circular glasses comes up to them, hands them two menus, and zooms off to “get more berries”. 

_Huh, she seems like an interesting character_ Catra thinks as she watches the lady walk off faster than she should’ve been able to.

Adora ends up getting enough food to feed a whole family while Catra just gets a burger with some fries. 

“We can order some pie after.” Adora says as they give their menus back to Razz.

Raising an eyebrow as she smirks, Catra says, “Are you sure you’ll have room for pie after?”

“Oh definitely. I always have room for Razz’s pies.”

After that, they kind of just… descend into silence, not knowing where or how to start. It stays like that for a while and their food comes out before they’ve said a word.

Then at the same time, they both say,

“I’m sorry…”

Looking up at each other, they both laugh before Catra hesitantly asks, “Can I go first?”

“Of course.”

Swallowing hard while her tail flicks behind her, Catra begins, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been angry with you back then.” 

Adora’s eyebrows furrow and it looks like she’s about to say something, so Catra puts her hand up. “No, let me finish. I was an asshole. My anger shouldn’t have been directed at you. I wasn’t angry at _you_. I was angry with our shitty situation.”

Catra sighs, ears pinned back. “I was hurt because I thought you didn’t want me anymore, but that didn’t mean I should have hurt you back. And no, you didn’t _deserve_ it, Adora. I can still see your scar from where I scratched you.” With that, Adora subconsciously touches her jaw where the three faint marks are, sending a pang of regret through Catra. “I know I was a little kid, but that didn’t give me the right to hurt you. I’m sorry that I ever hurt you in the first place.”

Their food sits untouched in front of them, but Catra just stares at her plate. “Scorpia and her parents convinced me to see someone to talk about everything and I think it’s really helping. I think… without them, my therapist, I wouldn’t have been able to take seeing you today.”

Adora leans forward and places a hand over Catra’s own, causing her to look up into Adora’s eyes. They’re glistening with unshed tears, but there’s a gentle smile on her face.

“Thank you for saying that, but I’m sorry, too.”

“What? Why? You didn’t _do_ anything wrong, Adora.”

“But I did. I hurt you.” The sorrow in Adora’s voice is palpable as it wavers. To comfort herself, she starts gently stroking the soft fur on the back of Catra’s hand with her thumb. “I promised you that nothing bad would happen as long as we had each other and I was the one who fucked that up.”

When Adora started stroking her fur, Catra almost let out a rumbling purr, but her words stopped her. “Adora, you made that promise when we were children in a world that doesn’t stop for anyone. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But it was,” Adora insists, “I’m the one who chose to keep the details from you. I’m the one who chose to wait until the last possible minute to tell you that I was leaving. I should have told you so we could have spent that last few weeks together, making it special, instead of hurting each other.” Her volume had been steadily increasing, but it dropped once she reached the end of last sentence. Heart pounding from the memories, Adora was almost panting from the sheer amount of emotions she was feeling and the force she put into her words.

“Yeah, we were kids, but I should have known better than keeping something from you. I mean, we literally told each other _everything_ , no matter what it was and I fucked that up. You had every right to be angry with what I did. I would be angry with me. I _am_ angry with me.”

She slumps back into the booth, but not once did she take her hand away or stop stroking Catra’s fur. 

“ _Adora_ ,” Catra’s voice is hard as she says her name, but softens as she continues, “you were a child. We both were. That’s what children _do_. They make dumb choices that even adults make sometimes.” There’s a beat where she glances at their touching hands. “I won’t say it was okay, but I understand why you hid it from me.” She flips her hand over to grab Adora’s and squeeze it.

Their fingers aren’t intertwined but _god_ , how she wishes they were.

Adora doesn’t say anything, just stares at their hands, so Catra keeps going. “And yeah, I had a right to be angry, I won’t lie. But Adora, no one deserves to be scratched like that.” She lets out a big sigh. “This is on both of us.” That causes Adora to make eye contact with her again as Catra shyly says, “But I would like to try to be friends again?”

Again, Adora doesn’t say anything, she just blinks at her for a moment. Taking that as a no, Catra starts to retract her hand, but the blonde panics and quickly grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers. “No! I-I mean yes!” She clears her throat then continues, “Yes, I want to be friends again.”

Now it’s Catra’s turn to stare at their hands like an idiot without saying anything. She had been _hoping_ Adora’s would intertwine their fingers, but actually _doing_ it? Well, she didn’t think either of them had the nerve to if she’s being completely honest.

“You’ve grown a lot, huh?” Adora comments as she continues to stroke Catra’s fur.

With her free right hand, Catra picks up her burger and takes a bite before responding. “Yeah, it’s all thanks to my therapist, DT. It took a lot of convincing from Scorpia and her parents for me to actually go, but it’s helped me a lot.”

Not wanting to let go, Adora just uses her left hand to eat. It makes Catra’s heart soften, seeing the blonde so unwilling to stop touching her.

“So, about the song. Are you gonna tell me about it?”

At that, Adora sputters. Luckily, she didn’t spit any of her food out, saving her from more embarrassment. When she recovers, she awkwardly asks, “Uh what do you want to know?”

“Well, you said it’s about us. What about us?”

“Just, you know, our memories and… stuff.” She’s definitely lost the bravado she had in the early morning. 

Catra snorts at how awkward Adora is being. “Can I hear you sing it someday?”

That makes Adora smirk. “Are you asking me to serenade you?” 

Catra bites her lip, pondering if she should direct this conversation back to a safer zone, but decides on replying with, “And what if I was?”

Adora’s eyebrows twitch and her cheeks are dusted with pink, but other than that, her face holds her smirk together. They continue their banter, finishing their meals and order 2 slices of Razz’s pie.

As Razz sets their plates down and scurries off to do god knows what, Adora still hasn’t let go of Catra’s hand. She stares at her expectantly with wide eyes and a soft smile while holding a fork in her left hand.

Honestly, it’s making Catra slightly nervous to be watched so intensely, but she picks up her fork to scoop up a piece of pie. The first bite makes her suck in a breath and _moan_. It is the most mouthwatering and delectable thing she has ever eaten in her life. The flavors were unlike anything else. It felt like she was punched in the face with flavors she didn’t know existed.

The sound of Adora clearing her throat reminds her that she is, in fact, not alone at the moment. Looking away from the pie, she notices that Adora’s face has started to look like a tomato and is about to comment on that but the blonde beats her to it. “So, do I need to buy you a dozen pies?”

For a second, Catra is confused, but then she remembers their conversation in the car. “I feel like this pie personally introduced me to God and it was amazing.”

Adora throws her head back, laughing to her heart’s content. The sight of it is so surreal to Catra. Being able to talk to her and laugh like they were best friends again was all she had ever wanted. In that moment, Catra decided she would do anything to keep this carefree version of Adora by her side. Even if it meant she would have to keep her feelings to herself for the rest of her life.

—

It’s 2 hours later and Adora is sitting on her bed, journal open in front of her. She had just dropped Catra off at home and was thinking about their… meeting? Hang out? ...date?

All in all, it went really well. Better than anything Adora had been expecting. It seemed like Catra was genuine about being friends again and that thought alone makes Adora’s heart soar.

She can’t believe it.

The past 10 years have been hell without her. Even with amazing family and friends around to support her, it just didn’t feel like anyone understood her, _truly_ understood her. But with Catra, it was always so easy. Like there was some unspoken connection between them.

After today, she’s almost 100% sure that her feelings for Catra are still there. She’s been trying to ignore them and push them down all day, but it just hasn’t been possible. There’s something so magnetic about Catra that draws her in and won’t let go.

She looks down at her lyrics for “seven” and it feels like a switch flipped in her head, knowing exactly how she wants the last few lines to sound like. 

—

_Sweet tea in the summer_

_Cross my heart, won't tell no other_

_And though I can't recall your face_

_I still got love for you_

_Pack your dolls and a sweater_

_We'll move to India forever_

_Passed down like folk songs_

_Our love lasts so long_

_Catra is at Adora’s house again. They’ve been in her room playing with some dolls (Adora insists they’re called action figures, but Catra likes to say they’re dolls) and stuffed animals. On the table, of course, are two cups of sweet tea as always._

_Currently, the dolls and stuffed animals lay on the floor, unattended. The two girls are on the balcony again, sitting on the bench and talking in low, soft voices. Catra has her head in Adora’s lap as the older girl runs her fingers through her hair. Soft, rumbling purrs are rolling off of the catgirl in waves, revealing her contentment._

_The sun is shining high above them and Catra is loving it. Her eyes are closed, basking in the warmth of the day and Adora’s attention. If she weren’t trying so hard to make the most of her time with Adora, she would have been asleep 5 minutes ago._

_Sleepily, Catra voices a thought, “Would you ever move away from here?”_

_Adora’s hand pauses for a split second, but resumes almost immediately. “Where would we even go?”_

_“We?”_

_“...Yes, we. Where you go, I go.”_

_“Oh.” Catra hadn’t thought Adora would want to go_ with _her. She has such a great life now. Why would she want to go with her? “We could go to… I don’t know… India?”_

_Adora giggles. “India? What do you know about India?”_

_Opening her eyes, Catra playfully glares at the other girl. “I don’t know! I just learned about it in school the other day!”_

_“Okay.” Adora grins down at her._

_“We could bring your dolls with us!” Catra snickers, knowing Adora doesn’t like it when they’re called dolls._

_The blonde narrows her eyes and brings her first two fingers up in front of her eyes, making the “I’m watching you” hand gesture. But she quickly brightens back up to add, “And we should bring a sweater! Angella always tells me to bring one when I go outside because she says it might be cold later.”_

_Catra hums an acknowledgment and a warm, quiet peace envelopes them. Everything about it is perfect. The love and affection radiating off both of them has always remained unspoken, but something in Adora was pulled to say it. As if saying it would confirm that Catra would stay by her side and their love would last forever._

_So, she leans down, close enough for her nose to touch Catra’s hair beside her ear, and murmurs, “I love you… to the moon and to Saturn.” It’s a little uncomfortable to be leaning down that low, so she sits back up._

_Catra, on the other hand, nuzzles her face into Adora’s stomach to hide the blush spreading across her cheeks. Her ears flick once as she moves her tail to lay across Adora’s wrist._

_Adora knows she won’t get a reply from her, but that’s not why she said it. Love isn’t really a_ thing _in their lives. Especially in Shadow Weaver’s house. The only reason why Adora feels so sure and confident in saying those three words is because of Glimmer and her parents. They put those feelings into words for her and now she wants Catra to know what that feels like, too._

_Catra deserves all the love in the world._

_Sometimes it’s not enough to not hear those words and she never understood that until Angella, Micah, and Glimmer showed her. The first time she heard them tell her they love her was an experience unlike any other. It had been so overwhelming that she may have cried a bit, but she doesn’t want Catra to continue living her life without ever hearing that someone loves her._

_So no, Adora didn’t say those three words to hear them back. She said them so Catra could_ know _she’s here for her and that their love will last. She said it as a confirmation to both her and Catra that she does love her. She wants Catra to feel loved and be loved._

_“You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know.”_

_Burrowing deeper into Adora’s warmth, Catra mewls and clutches onto her. Her claws are out, grazing Adora’s back, but there’s no pressure behind them. They slowly retract as she begins to knead and the two continue basking in the warmth._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points for you if you can tell me what song the chapter title is from lol


End file.
